On August 1, I gave a dramatic break-up speech to my last glass of Chardonnay, then Alexa randomly played Al Green’s “Let’s
Stay Together,” and I was free from alcohol. I did it for my incredibly smart (6 year old) son
who asked me one summer evening in the Hamptons why I was drinking something that killed his daddy, and I really had to
think about the answer. I did it for our family, for my business, I did it in my husbands’ honor, but somewhere along the way, something clicked - I don’t have to drink alcohol to enjoy social situations or to unwind at night.I don’t have to ever be hungover again! It was just getting in the way of living my best life after....2020 happened. It had to go. I had to rebuild my life and revive my authentic self. And we, as a society, must #removethestigma around Alcohol Use Disorder. It doesn’t choose a specific demo- graphic, it can happen to anyone.
I read a lot about the science of alcohol and addiction, and found myself finally heal-
ing from Charles’ death, in doing the hard work on myself and understanding more of what happened to him. I learned that alco hol is the only drug people question you for not using. I learned that your brain gets the same dopamine hit from pouring kombu- cha in a pretty glass that it gets from pouring a glass of wine. I learned that the first 20 minutes after your first sip of booze is the best it gets; the rest of the night, or following few days, is spent chasing that buzz and nev- er attaining it, just getting more down. My life, and the lives of those closest to me, are too valuable to waste on a toxic, addictive poison.
I’m so grateful for the #sobercurious and #dryjanuary movements, groups like @so- bersis and books like Quit Like a Woman and The Naked Mind for showing me that a sober minded life is not a death sentence to my social life, in fact the opposite has happened. Alcohol numbs pain, but it also numbs joy. In the past 9 months, I have been on girls nights, dinner dates, holiday parties, business dinners, business and community events and business and personal trips without a drop of alcohol. I knew the only thing that would derail me was FOMO, so I made sure I did everything I used to, just without drinking. What I found was every experience more enhanced and not dulled by alcohol
I’m so proud to have owned my PR agency for 12 years, and grateful to be in a position where I get to represent brands I be- lieve in, that promote the lifestyle I’m living, and now I can use my profession to spread awareness of the myriad healthy alter- natives to booze, and to help others heal, too.
In these early stages of my sobriety, I have been so blessed to work with Stacey Shabtai and Botanika Life, who believe in honest ingredients and powerful botanicals to help you feel your best, every day. Botanika Life utilizes the healing powers of flowers and plants to develop innovative products with pure ingredients and clean formulas for beauty, pain + wellness, products good enough to eat! Their Elite Elixir is pure CBD that you can drop into any beverage to calm your mind and reduce inflammation. I add a drop into my NA wine glass at home, or mocktail when out, and I get the same relaxing effects I used to when drinking alcohol, with no negative side effects. I can still drive home safely, put my son to bed, and wake up feeling well-rested and refreshed. Not puffy and fuzzy. I remember all of the business connections I made the night before; I can make it to my 8 am yoga class with joy and ease.
Today, I start working with Lifted, the first non-alcoholic spirit made with less than 3 mg of THC, to enjoy on the rocks or mixed (Curious Elixirs and Min- gle are my favorite non-alcoholic mix- ers). Margaret Bastick-Luce and I are so excited to bring this to the Hamp- tons this summer to share with all of our friends! For those not looking to enhance their bev- erages in any way, non-alcoholic beers and wines are also way more exciting now. I love The Athletic Brewing Company and Surely Wines.
The whole world is stressed out, it’s been traumatic for all of us. The best thing I realized is that I was drinking to cope with stress and anxiety, but alcohol only makes that worse! There are so many healthy ways to unwind now. Everything we need to heal and deal is within us, if we just slow down to find it. YOU GUYS - if you told me 9 months ago that I would be living my best life sober today, I would’ve unfriended you. If I did it, any- one can.
I did it without rehab, without missing a beat at work, or a moment of Dylan’s life outside of school. It’s powerful and I’m so proud of myself. I can handle and do anything. I’ve learned healthy boundaries and found healthy relationships. I’ve made deeper, more meaningful friendships, I’m closer with my family. I’ve learned to put my oxygen mask on first because if I’m not ok, no one close to me is ok. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself, it’s selfish not to. I’m enjoying this journey, so much is unfolding and falling into place, so much is healing, and I’m finally excited and truly happy again. I thank God every day I wake up sober and not hungover. What an unexpected blessing this has been.
I have been fully present in my life for the first time ever and what I have found is that it’s pretty damn great. I love the home and business I have created to provide for my family.....by myself. I did it my way.
Joy and happiness can only be found within and gratitude will change your mindset and your life. I’ve always loved but- terflies because they symbolize freedom. Despite business and personal freedom, I still felt trapped in a battle of moderating al- cohol.Somuchtimethinkingaboutwhen,whatandhowmuch. Something had to give for this single mama and business owner! And that something was booze. Bye Felicia! Now I’m really free #wearetheluckyones.
One of the last things Charles said to his mother before he passed away was, “Dylan doesn’t deserve this.” No, he doesn’t.
Nine months!! I have been sober for the same amount of time my body created Dylan. Wow. And I feel like a newborn some- times, navigating this new world on Bambi legs, without my old friend, my crutch. But it’s not boring, sad or dull. Every morn- ing feels like Christmas and the opportunities are endless. Can’t wait to see you out East this summer and toast to the #AFLife: Alcohol-Free Authentic Freedom. It’s always a Good Day to Have a Good Day!
